How We Work
We have a surplus of gold and a drastic need for ghosts! We specialize in turning your paranormal nightmare into gold by giving you gold in exchange for your paranormal nightmare.
Do You Pick Up the Ghost?
You gotta bring the ghost to us, there's no way we're coming to your creepy haunted house.
How do you verify that it's a real ghost?
We have several trained paranormal investigators who are trained to tell paranormal entities apart from your friend hidden under a sheet.
How do you price the ghosts?
Our team of paranormal appraisers (pictured) will negotiate a price. Famous ghost? Lots of gold! Ghost that thinks Sweet Caroline makes sense at a baseball game? No gold!
Facts
Some facts about Ghosts for Gold
Ghosts procured, trapped in our lavish golden prison
pounds of gold paid to customers
Complaints to the Better Business Bureau
Percent of ghosts are allergic to gold. Surprise!
Why Would You Want Ghosts?
I honestly don't really think it's any of your business what we do with the ghosts, but they said we had to put something up anyways. Here are some ideas:
Ghosts As A Service (GAAS)
Have you ever seen a ghost and NOT told someone about it? Rent a ghost, tell someone a story about it. You'll be the talk of the party!
Jurassic Park, but Ghosts
We could buy an island and throw all these beings on there, you can pay us (ideally in gold bars) to come see them!
Cheap Labor
We pay upfront in gold, but Ghosts are dead and can't receive income. The dead can only vote in some counties, so we're not worried about the legality.
Renting Ghosts to Haunted Houses
When was the last time you even went to a haunted house? 1996, Hootie and the Blowfish was playing right as you walked in. Kind of ruined the mood.
Haunt Attacks
Hate that jerk who cut you off? Pay to haunt them! Our ghosts have nothing better to do, the ghost will spook them out of their dang socks for up to a week.
Scientific Research
We have to put this BS on here to make it seem like we're open to doing anything good for the world so as to not Facebook ourselves.
Sell Us Those Dang Ghosts!
You don't need them, give us those ghosts. What the heck are you going to do with them anyways?
Team
We believe that we have the most talented team in the ultra competitive ghosts for gold trading market
Ben Ricker
Chief Ectoplasm Officer
Matt Daigle
Chief Gatekeeping Officer
Brandon Aaskov
Chief Hauntings Officer
David Oelfke
Chief PioFEAR Officer
Contact
We're currently not accepting any more ghosts, we have too many ghosts!
123 Spooky Street, Salem, MA 01970
takemyghost@ghostsforgold.com
1-800-555-2368